29 September 2022

The Love Song of J. Harry Maguire

 


“I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.”


Who or what is Maguire? Well, Jacob Harry Maguire is the most expensive defender in the history of association football. He is the third most expensive British player in history. He has played games and scored goals at the highest levels of the game. World Cups, European Championships, the Champions League, the Premier League: you name it, he’s played in it. No English player has scored more goals for the national team than Maguire, and he has achieved this feat in four years. He is, surely, undoubtedly, an icon of contemporary English football. The facts and stats speak volumes, don’t they?

But come on, really: what is Harry Maguire? Headline facts, basic macroscopic stats: they might adorn the opening paragraph to Maguire’s encyclopaedia entries. They cannot in any sense truly capture the essence of Maguire. The image of Maguire that we all recognise does not match the grandeur of those figures. A towering giant of the modern game? The defensive stalwart that relentlessly guards the England net against the giants of world football? The second-coming of Bobby Moore? Whatever Maguire is, he cannot be called these things in earnest.

So what is he? To begin to contemplate this question puzzles the mind. To watch Maguire play is to anticipate the comic. That is, everything is surprising. The marauding advances from deep on the ball towards left flank, successful or failed; the long-range switching passes to the flank that either drop to the feet of an advanced Luke Shaw or the outstretched hand of fans on the lower-tiers; the recovery runs that show an inexplicable light-footedness congratulated with shock by the England fans, or result in Maguire awkwardly trying to position both himself and his defensive partners around chasms of space. Maguire is hilarious in his success, hilarious in his errors. Everything is unexpected. Like Charlie Chaplin’s Tramp, everything is a contradiction. All actions and reactions bewilder. Harry Maguire is a comedy.


Pictured: Manchester United captain Harry Maguire berating his defenders after conceding against twice to Brighton.

 It was as if a dramatist had concocted a comedia dell’arte archetype of the British centre-back: massive forehead topped with bristling black hair; bulking broad frame of a shot-putter; the awkward inagile gait that manages to make the slightest of turns seem deliberately manoeuvred in the fashion of a reversing delivery lorry. I look into his eyes, and there is a sense of pain. Is it shame, the embarrassment one feels in nightmares of being suddenly seen naked from the waist down? Or is it incredulity, of desperate confusion at how his career has come to this? 

Of course, one is compelled to caveat any criticism of Maguire with recognition of his qualities. We may say that what redeems Maguire could be various statistics that signal towards defensive solidity. We could mildly gesture towards his set-piece presence, his physicality or the periods of relative stability in his career. There is an enigma in his rise, from dogging it out in Hull's relegation battle to the Euros final at Wembley. That enigma though is unlike the raw presence and fire of Harry Kane, unlike the maturation of sheer professionalism seen in Raheem Sterling, Kyle Walker, or John Stones. Maguire's career lacks that prestige. 

What redeems Maguire in all his comic contradiction is the same reasons audiences loved the Tramp: he is intensely relatable. Think back to Maguire’s nightmare at Old Trafford against Liverpool last season, or against Tottenham the season before. Imagine the bulky, outward-chested defender scrambling in the box, opening up vacuums of space for wingers to waltz into. Think back just a few days ago to England’s dead-rubber against Germany. Imagine watching your certified unit having to be taken one-on-one with the nimble-footed legs of a youngster far quicker or skillful, and being forced to just plant your foot into their shins. What we see in Maguire is the relatable shambles we see in every village football scrap, every floodlit five-a-side face-off. 


“Shall I part my hair behind?   Do I dare to eat a peach?

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.


I do not think that they will sing to me.”


Likewise, we can look at the inexplicable moments of triumph - the long-field pass, the towering header, the massive forehead, the reduction of the game to the biggest, broadest, most aggressive winning out. What is this if not the personification of the pure, essential, prosaic idyll of British football, come to life on the biggest stages of the sport? Maguire defies the progressive forms of the technical and tactical world, the academic grace of the Phil Fodens, the Jack Grealishes, and the Jude Bellinghams of modern football. In all his actions, he contradicts, exposes, and fools the contemporary game.

One of Chaplin’s most iconic scenes as the Tramp comes in his 1936 satire Modern Times. The Tramp works the factory assembly line and, overwhelmed by the sheer colossus of the labour, gets caught within the cogs of the machine, causing the whole thing to collapse in complete disarray and meltdown. It is the image of the weak, fragile, inexplicable man unable to deal with a world far bigger and powerful than himself. This is Harry Maguire: the hapless sigh of the tragedian; the pantomime folly of the sad clown; the awkward everyman of English football. 



“I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,

And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,

And in short, I was afraid.”


What is the point?

What is the point in supporting a football club? Is it simply the desire to watch athletes perform to their highest potentials? Is it the voyeuristic pleasure of watching success manifest itself at a distance, feeling oneself as part of that success? Does that feeling of connection exist in concrete terms beyond a status of consumer, subscriber and parasocial affiliation to a brand? Does it matter if that parasocial relationship, wherein we are encouraged to know a football club and its players as if they were a romantic partner, our brothers, our sisters, our closest friends, concretize a loyalty felt towards a football club?

If we saw a child act as passionately towards an Instagram influencer or Peppa Pig, would we, as football fans, empathise with that passion? If the Pig regularly told its viewers how much love it felt for the children watching, would we believe it? If the Influencer told their child followers how all of their success was down to their support and that they cherished them for it, would we believe them? When Tottenham Hotspur livestreams happy messages to their millions of supporters, would we believe that?

If the game is about glory, does Manchester City epitomise the game? Isn’t the greatest glory of our game in 2021 to be found at the Etihad Stadium? Do many football fans respect City’s players performing to the highest of their potentials? Has City not garnered the awe of the football community for their athletic supremacy? What is more gloriousness than leaving the entire football pyramid trailing in their shadow?

Would we not want our own clubs to aspire to reach the same heights?

Would we not want our own striker to provoke orgasmic, ecstatic cries from Martin Tyler as we won the league for the first time in decades with the final kick of the ball that season? Would we not want our own club to sign Jack Grealish for one-hundred million pound sterling if they could? Would we not want our own club to aspire to the heights of athletic supremacy if they could? Has it become a fact that success such as City’s must come with investment? Were Paris Saint-Germain fans happy to see Neymar sign for 222 million Euros? Were Liverpool fans happy to see Virgil van Dijk sign for £79million? Were Real Madrid fans delighted to see Luis Figo sign for £37million?

Were Newcastle fans happy with Alan Shearer signing for £15million? Were Spurs fans happy that Jimmy Greaves was signed for £99,999? If success comes at least in part from this sort of investment, should the City fans sing the name of the billionaire, the Deputy Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, Sheikh Mansour, member of the Al-Nahyan royal family?

As the City players go up to collect their winners’ medals every season, should Martin Tyler congratulate Mansour on his productive investment? Should Vincent Company tearfully have thanked the lucrative capital gains and business practices of the Abu Dhabi National Oil Company for the glory of their many successes?

Are the City fans wrong to sing the glorious tale of the Emirates Investment Authority’s investment into the modern game’s most coveted football manager (“Sheikh Mansour went to Spain / In a Gold Corolla, / Brought us back a manager, / his name is Guardiola”)? Do the migrant workers of the gulf region building the EIA’s wealth share in Manchester City’s glory?

If the game is about glory, can Harry Kane be blamed for wanting to join Manchester City? What is more glorious than lifting trophies every season? If Harry Kane can score the highest number of goals and assists in a season at a Tottenham side that finished 7th, what could he do at the Etihad? Will Harry Kane become the greatest English striker to ever play the game at Manchester City? Will Harry Kane become the most decorated English player in football history at Manchester City?

Did Harry Kane even dare to dream he could achieve such glories when he missed a penalty at White Hart Lane against Hearts, or when he sat on Norwich’s bench for a whole season on loan? Does Kane hold Tottenham in deep personal contempt for denying him such glory? Does he now regret signing a £200,000-a-week, six-year contract in 2018 that committed him to his bitterness until 2024? Has the joy he remembers feeling putting Spurs in front in the North London Derby in 2016, him ripping off his protective face-guard, him screaming in unconfined ecstasy, ring hollow compared to the glory of what he could have at Manchester City? When City have won their sixth-consecutive League Cup, would Kane be able to scream so joyously again?

Should I care at all about Harry Kane? When I have stood in front of a classroom, telling students Kane’s story – his ungainly physical stature, his speech impediment, his struggles, his triumph through adversity, his humble, sincere, quiet professionalism in his persona – and how it inspired me to believe I could be more than what I appear to be – did I get the wrong end of the stick? Should we see footballers as anything more than athletes? If footballers are athletes, then what inspiration could I possibly lose by Kane’s departure? Is there just no rational basis for despairing at Kane’s ambition, even if that ambition is at the cost of my club?

What is the point in supporting a football club? When watching my club brings me joy, who do I have to thank? If they bring me despair, who do I have to blame? Should I not choose to support a club that brings me as little despair as I can? Do I even have that choice? Could I share in the glory of Manchester City’s multiple trophy wins if I simply chose to?

Will my own joys of being a Tottenham fan (making it 1, 2, 3 against United, of Crouch sending my brother, my Dad and I into bedlam and the Champions League, of watching Gareth Bale’s incendiary rise matching our own, of watching Mauricio Pochettino’s tears at our last game at White Hart Lane matching our own, of screaming uncontrollably, dancing incoherently, singing and crying unashamedly as Lucas Moura sends Tottenham to a place we never dared to dream we would ever reach) fade to grey in my memory, burn bitter in my mouth, at the thought that we didn’t do what Manchester City could do? Will sharing those joys with my closest friends and family, even those no longer with me, through the communal, absurd myth of Football, be made lesser?

Was it all for nothing? 

What is the point of any of it?

(Published on The Fighting Cock blog on Aug 2, 2021: https://thefightingcock.co.uk/2021/08/what-is-the-point/ )