On Andros Townsend

After Andros Townsend came onto the scene for AVB's Tottenham at the start of the 2013/14 season, several articles were published under the headline "Is Andros Townsend the next Gareth Bale?". Feel free to copy and paste that into Google; you'll find like I did a bunch of articles written in 2013 discussing that prospect.

And blimey, what a prospect it was for us Spurs fans! We sold our hero, our talisman, arguably the best to play for Spurs in many years. And in an instant, we could have found a successor. Not one bought, but one of our own! One fast, attacking, goal-hungry, distance-striking winger replacing another. It was glorious. It dared us to dream of thirty-yard screamers, last minute winners, attacking football again. And with thoughts on what that could do for a national team so devoid of flare, so lacking in actual impact players, every English football fan was caught up in the furore of Andros Townsend.

It breaks my heart, therefore, to have to say this, but I think everyone knows it's true. He's one of our own, after all, that's what we sung - but so has many failed Tottenham prospects. Andros Townsend will never amount to the player we want him to be. Furthermore, Townsend barely justifies any more a seat on Tottenham's bench, let alone a starring role.

Allow me to explain. Townsend has many attributes that I adore from a modern-day winger: the ability to take on the defender; the willingness to take a dig at goal from outside box; the sheer velocity to belt it down the flanks. I look at defenders when he has the ball and they look startled into action, frantic to defend and stop him from making a difference in the final third. There's no denying that Townsend could fit the mould perfectly to play in our first team - hell, to play in any Spurs team over the years.

Well, then - why isn't he playing in the first team? Why has Pochettino confined him to the benches this season, using him in the league as no more than a second-half impact player? If he does indeed have all these attributes, shouldn't he easily waltz into the starting eleven ahead of Erik Lamela, ahead of Mousa Dembele, ahead of Nacer Chadli?

The answer is end product. Shots on goal. Creating chances. The difference between foreplay and fuck. Townsend has absolutely no end product, both as a midfielder and as an attacker. He has the foreplay of a pornstar but the penetration of a pubescent twit. He will take on the man; he will dribble down the the flanks; he will get into creative positions to set up and maybe even score. And he will bottle it almost every time. It's fun to watch him mess with defenders, but it is infuriating to watch the terrible crosses, the missed passes, but most of all, the constant, constant attempts on goal,

Scenario: a player gets the ball - teammates are in the box - a player cuts inside - a player looks up - teammates lose their marker - a player decides Fuck it, I'm scoring the winner - a ball goes cannoning into Row Z - possession lost, chance wasted.

Now picture that same scenario when you're watching your team, and it's every single game, and it's every single appearance, and it's every single season. I present you Andros Towsnend.

And the stats do not favour Andros at all. I've dusted off my old calculator, done a bit of division, nearly had an aneurysm, and discovered some shocking statistics about Townsend's end product. This was shocking despite the experience of watching him play for the past few seasons. Brace yourselves, people.

Across the last three seasons in the league and in Europe, Andros Townsend has played for Tottenham 58 times, shot at goal 102 times, and found the net 2 times. Two. That's a shot conversion rate of 1.9%. To put that in perspective, Spurs fans are like to see one goal out of every fifty Andros Townsend shots... ONE GOAL - FIFTY SHOTS. To put this in an even worse perspective for Andros, we'd be likely to get seven goals from Nacer Chadli in as many shots since 2013.

The fun doesn't end there, guys. Oh no. More of the stats that we so eagerly like to read say that Spurs fans see Andros create a single chance per 113 minutes of football. To compare with the a much maligned (and frankly, by many Spurs fans, still despised) rival to the right-wing spot, Erik Lamela will on average create a chance every 38 minutes of football, as well as the 12 assists compared to Townsend's 3 amongst his chances. If I were crude, I would say Lamela is statistically three times as creative as Andros Townsend on the football pitch.

So why exactly might Pochettino bench this young, talented footballer? Well, not only do the other young talented footballers in the squad - Kane, Lamela, Dier, Alli, (at a push) Mason - clearly make better impacts on matches than Townsend, these players are also improving at a far better rate since first playing for Spurs than Townsend. Whilst only the most hypercritical cynic would dispute the fact that Erik Lamela has improved since arriving at Spurs from Roma, Townsend is exactly the same player as he was when he burst onto the scene that same year. There's even an argument to suggest Townsend has gotten worse since first starting for Spurs in 2013; good defenders are more aware of his party tricks and can show him onto his weaker right-foot, which has even less of an impact than his left foot. With the likes of Alex Pritchard and Joshua Onomah jumping up and down to play for Spurs, I honestly wonder how Townsend is even on the bench under Pochettino.

Imagining a Townsend performance is much like Orwell's imagination of the future in Ninety Eighty-Four. I paraphrase: There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment in the process of attacking football. All possible chances to score will be destroyed. Always will there be the intoxication of taking shots, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of shooting from thirty-yards out, the sensation of trampling on a goal-scoring opportunity that is helpless. If you want a picture of Andros Townsend, imagine a boot stamping on Mauricio Pochettino's face - for ever.

Perhaps I'm being a tad harsh in likening Andros Townsend to totalitarianism. My main point is that I hold very little hope for Townsend as a top-half Premier League player. He is void of all end product, merely possessing the threat of it. He has all the attributes of an impact player without the decision-making skills to consistently do anything useful with them. At aged 24, there's still a few more years potentially there for improvement, and I'd love to see him replicate for Tottenham what he seems to do invariably for England. Sadly, with injury problems looming and better options already available and playing for Pochettino, I see a struggle for Townsend to hold onto his future at Tottenham.

The British tabloids have an excruciatingly painful tendency to hype up young, English footballers and announce them to be the next superstar in order to create interest. It wouldn't bother me if it didn't leave such a mark on these young players' careers. Tottenham and England fans alike will always struggle to discard the idea that Townsend could one day score goals, change games, bring glory like Gareth Bale did season after season in Lilywhite. But it's time we put it next to our other hopeless dreams for English football. I'd say that glory fades for Andros - this time, I doubt the glory was ever there to begin with.

The End of Tottenham’s Fight for Fourth

The fight for fourth place in the Premier League has become more like a war, consuming the ambitions of clubs in the top half over the last decade, none more so in recent years than Tottenham Hotspur.

Growing up through the Noughties, I saw the Big Four in English football as a dominant and statute force; Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool. Change to the elite was few and far between, perhaps most notably with Everton in 2004-05. The top four clubs in English football remained the same for many seasons, though. The decline of Liverpool, however, saw a vacuum form, and the seasonal battles for fourth place begun.

Tottenham came agonisingly close to breaking the mould under Jol, falling short at the final hurdle in 2006 on account of dodgy lasagna. The 2009-10 season under Redknapp saw Spurs finish above the likes of Arab-invested Man City, Moyes' Everton and the fallen Liverpool in fourth, and the Big Four had finally been broken. And ever since Peter Crouch's goal at Maine Road, Spurs have been battling ceaselessly and relentlessly to finish fourth every season.

Since 2010, three managers have been sacked, floods of plastic fans have held up the Lilywhite banners, and the identity of the squad and the club has changed beyond recognition. Coupled with off-pitch issues, such as the rise in ticket prices, inflated transfer windows, and Northumberland Park Project, Spurs fans have been left thoroughly exhausted and deflated by the war.

But the saddest thing, the most tragic fact that angers fans most of all, is that after all this conflict, after years of battles for a top four finish, the only rewards for the club has been Ramos' league cup win in 2008 and one season in the Champions League. Totttenham's status as one of the best clubs in English football has been returned, however their European status has not. Fans have been left thinking of what could have been, rather than what was.

A new season is before us, and with it, a new manager. Mauricio Pochettino joins Tottenham after raising Southampton into the top half of the table with attractive, attacking football and excellent man management. Highly regarded for his management philosophy and reputation, Pochettino is expected to change the picture at White Hart Lane, a picture that took many a heavy beating last season.

Tottenham's squad is looking healthy and fairly well-rounded. Key players, such as Lloris, Eriksen, and Vertonghen, will play under Pochettino, a luxury sadly lost on other clubs. The prospect of Erik Lamela to play a key role this season after recovering from injury and starring in pre-season has increased morale for Spurs fans. And with Levy strengthening defensively, last season's regular beatings may be at an end.

Expectations in the league, however, are at its lowest in the past five years. The war for fourth place continues, and motivations for success are high; United under Van Gaal are looking to return to their place amongst Europe's elite, Liverpool are hoping to retain their breakthrough at the top, Arsenal are looking beyond fourth, and Everton under Martinez want to prove themselves as more than just a threat. After last season, other clubs and their fans think much less of Tottenham and their squad, and rightly so.

All of this is understood by Spurs fans, but hopes of a good seasons should not be discarded. Pochettino will begin integrating his high-pressing, attacking, hard-working philosophy on a more than capable set of players. Our squad depth will allow us to challenge in the cups, notably a Europa League with a place in the Champions League for the winner. League games against the top teams will be more competitive this season.

However, the likelihood of Spurs finishing in the top four this season is low. This will be a season of transition under a new manager, reforming a young squad under Pochettino's new philosophy. Tottenham will be building a foundation for future success; even the ficklest of fans will refrain from calling for this manager's head come May.

As surprising as it may be, a season's respite away from the bloody battle for fourth place will prove a healthy remedy for a broken club, a source of cautious optimism for Tottenham's future.  

What Does The Future Hold For Erik Lamela?

Erik Lamela's first season at Spurs, in parallel with this season as a whole, has been one of great disappointment. Signed from Roma in August, Lamela seems to represent the plentiful nature of young talent in our squad without there being any great, world-class specimen. He has featured rarely, and his absence has become a great source of pain for Spurs fans. As we begin to hunger for a new start, I begin to question where exactly does the Argentinian go from here?

Let me give you the skinny. 21-year-old Erik Lamela, one of the top (if not the top) young talents in Serie A, signed for Spurs for £25.8million in August. He, together with Christian Eriksen, came to replace the departed Gareth Bale, last year's Player Of The Year. The two players potentially and logically had what Bale possessed together: goals from midfield, flair, creativity and an eye for set pieces. The eyes of Spurs fans passively looked to Lamela for guidance.

I felt euphoric when I first saw this photo. How times change.

With the weight of expectation on his shoulders, a burden shared by all of the summer signings, he was not planted straight into the first team, but eased in by Andre Villas-Boas, kept out by the bright but inconsistent Andros Townsend. Lamela and Spurs fans alike waited and waited and did a bit more waiting to see a performance from him. The wait briefly ended on November 7^th against Sheriff Tiraspol in the Europa League – a goal, an assist and a match-winning performance. This would be, arguably, the one and only time we saw Lamela at his maximum.

The Spurs fans were once again left starved of Lamela and starved of his talent. When AVB was sacked in December, some began to speculate that he could get his chance, get his moment he and we had craved. Sadly not. Either by injury or (allegedly) through Tim Sherwood's over-zealous repression, Lamela has not featured in the first team since December 4^th.

I have too waited and, like this season, nothing” is the cry from many a fan. “What a waste of money!” some would even say. The outrage and knife-wielding cries of our fanbase forms a clear, Machiavellin-esque purging of our squad, such a purging that even Stalin could be proud. Out the signings. Out the deadwood. Out Tim Sherwood. New man comes in. Chuck in a few expletives and that's the gist of it, anyway.

I have become tired in my disappointment. “Thirty-million pound and

This may just be me – speaking as someone who has brooded over this season in a melancholic state for four months since we sacked Villas-Boas – but I once again will state that the worst thing for this squad would be a purging. In that case, I believe Lamela stays. But what do I expect from the young winger? Bale-esque glory? 30-yard screamers? 90^th minute winners?

I knew in my depths of my heart when we signed him that we were unlikely to get a top quality player in his first season in England. Across the road at Arsenal, the signing of Mesut Ozil has proved as inconsistent as any of Spurs' signings, has it not? We took the gamble of signing Eriksen and Lamela, two young foreign players to replace Bale. One has flourished. The other has not. This is the cold, disappointing truth.

Lamela gets his leg up against Tromso in the Europa League

However, it is not ludicrous to state that Lamela has a chance to flourish next season. At Roma, he rightly rose to prominence in the team, labelled by many of their fans as 'the next Totti'. He was versatile, operating both on the right as an inverted winger, and as a creative No. 10 on many occasions. He scored 15 goals and assisted five times in his last season in Serie A. Quite simply, you never gain a reputation as one of the best young talents in Europe unless you are really talented. Quite simply, there is no smoke without fire.

Erik Lamela has been absent in his debut season, both in his minute appearances on the pitch, and in his long time out of the Tottenham squad. A disappointment and a dead cert on many 'Worst Transfers of the Season' lists. It is my belief, however, that what will come of Lamela in his Spurs career will be no disappointment; he may even become extraordinary.

Last December, Lamela said in an interview to the Standard a telling quote: “I feel I need a bit of time. My moment will come and I will make the difference.” Let's hope so too.

What's Next For Tottenham Hotspur?

Two moments stand out and serves to summarise Tottenham’s season. The first is the euphoria felt by our fans after signing seven players with big reputations worldwide, for an investment of £105m and an investment of expectation. The second is Tim Sherwood throwing his gilet to the floor during the North London Derby at White Hart Lane.

Questions, questions, questions. How? Why? What now? What next?

When dissecting Tottenham’s season, most people go back to our transfer dealings (usually in the form of ‘they spent £100m on sh*t’). At the start of September, not one writer or punter saw those dealings as a negative; although we sold Bale, we seemingly replaced him by buying talent in all positions. The oracle that is Garth Crooks summed up this stance by boldly: “Tottenham had sold Elvis and bought The Beatles”.

As the season went on, a realisation grew amongst the footballing world: by selling Gareth Bale, Spurs lost their match-winner and the focal point of their team and that the players that Technical Director Franco Baldini brought in could not possibly replace what the Welshman possessed. By September, AVB had a team built around a man that no longer existed in Lilywhite. If you doubt the importance of a star player to a team, look no further than Liverpool, who’s focal point in Suarez has placed them in a title challenge. Melancholic it may be to think Tottenham could be achieving what Liverpool are doing right now, but it’s only the truth.

Tottenham find themselves currently in a position of numbness. Some say the season ended after being obliterated by Liverpool at Anfield, illustrating a start contrast between the two clubs at present. Others say it ended in December with the sacking of AVB and replacement of Tim Sherwood, seemingly gambling away the season before even the halfway point. Our squad is lacking confidence, form and desire, redeemed only by the successes of Adebayor and Eriksen. The media have condemned our club to our current place of purgatory – ‘Spurs are where they have always been and should expect no more’.

With the news that Sherwood will be replaced in the summer, fans can now think towards the future and what to expect for next season. Will we have a summer of upheaval and refurbishment, selling the players we signed and replacing them with more prospects? Will we try and build around the few gems carved from the pit that is this season?

The new manager, whoever he may be, must first look at what we have in our squad. I refuse to place the failures of our season on the players that we signed in August 2013. Take Soldado for instance. Yes, he has a had a dire season, failing to deliver on the promise of prolific goalscoring. My point is that Roberto Soldado was bought for £26m as one of the most prolific goalscorers in Europe, scoring more than 20 goals for each of the past four seasons. Just because Soldado has not lived up to expectations this season, it does not mean that there is nothing to be had in him next season.

This concept goes with the other players too. The Premier League is littered with players who came from foreign leagues who had poor first seasons but prospered in their future careers. Lamela showed glimpses of talent before being sidelined since December. Paulinho is still considered one of Brazil’s top talents, despite having a mediocre first season in England. Eriksen has been our stand out player this season, despite his inconsistent start.

There will be areas that will need improving in the summer. A young striker must be a priority after selling Jermain Defoe in January to Toronto. Younes Kaboul looks likely to be leaving in the summer when his contract runs out, so a centre-back should also be looked into. We currently possess average full-backs in Kyle Naughton and Danny Rose, so it is likely the new manager will need to strengthen there. On the whole though, our squad possesses talented individuals and is not in the need of another upheaval.

If Tottenham actually have the foundations of a talented squad, what is needed is somebody to create the blueprints needed for future success. Building this project will take years; we cannot hope for Chelsea-style instant success. A long process of evolution is needed, implementing the modern possession-based style of play which has proved successful in Europe, distancing the boardroom from management and stabilising a club in constant transition.

Tottenham’s season is a quagmire, an example of how to regress as a club. Selling your best players, sacking your manager midway through a season, replacing him with a manager with no professional experience whatsoever, deteriorating the relationship between the board and the fans off the pitch (the list goes on). Next season will have to be the start of an evolution and a project for future success if Spurs ever want to be at the top level of English football.